When we suppress ourselves, we are essentially playing with fire and we should be prepared for burns. EVERYTHING IS ENERGY. If you suppress anger, sadness, rage, shame, guilt or humiliation that you have over something or someone, if you don't find a way that works for you to release it, it will come back to haunt you. Or more correctly, it will bring more stress, drama, or illness to your life. Because that energy must find somewhere to go, and if you don't let it out it will cause a derangement of energies that you probably don't want to experience. Unprocessed and unfelt emotions will kick your ass until you realize that you need to get that energy released.
How, do I know all this? Oh, I was the poster child for suppression. My suppressions of deep sadness, grief, anger and shame all took its toll on me until crisis erupted in my life. In the Tarot, one could say that it was a Tower card moment. For a large part of my life, I lived in fear, and had titanic sized shame and guilt for many reasons and I attracted people into my life that would be an external validation of what I felt within. From the time I was very young, I had been on the receiving end of molestation, incest and abuse. Those who were in a position to protect me did not do so, and therefore I had no one I felt safe enough to talk to at that point in my life. I swallowed it all down, and long story short, since I did not clear the family energetic crap I got it presented to me again in my marriage, which was to the absolute most loveless creature on this planet. He is probably a direct descendent of Hitler or Lucifer and I thank the Universe that I finally started to love myself enough that I learned how to file for divorce in the library since I had no money. Lessons are repeated until they are learned and its been my experience that they get bigger and more painful each time so that we can see that maybe the way we were going about living needs to be modified so it doesn't contribute to any further pain. Sadly, for most of us, learning our lessons has required pain to start to open up to a different perspective. By being a little (or a lot) broken is not a failure, its actually how the LIGHT gets into our soul, scrubbing it clean, shining on all the dark places inside and restoring our peace and health eventually.
The key to the kingdom is to first and foremost LOVE YOURSELF. I have planned another post on only LOVE and the genuine meaning of it as I have been led to understanding, but it has been my observation that most of humanity does not truly know what genuine, authentic love is. When we love ourselves, we would not ever dream of doing anything that would be destructive. We would allow ourselves the privilege of feeling whatever emotion is coming up for us and then release it and be done with it.
Some things that have worked for me on clearing my lifetime of suppression are:
- journaling, as recommended by the Artist's Way
- art, as in watercolor, acrylics and drawing,
- full on imaginary conversation with whomever I am at odds with to just let the steam out.
- Emotional Freedom Technique
- Homeopathy in mind potencies
- walking in sunshine
- absolutely never allow anyone else's opinion to have more weight than your own.
- Yin Yoga
- Self compassion
Ponder this: your anger has been pushed down inside of you since around the age of 5. You are now at age 33 and just had your first stroke or heart attack. That dark energy you held onto, needed to get out and it saw the best route was through the heart or brain.
One of the most self compassionate things we can do for ourselves is to unsupress everything. By doing so, we are being true to our own souls, and living in the light. We are creating an environment that is conducive to healing and miracles.
Scripture from Matthew 18:3:
Truly I tell you that unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
To me, I interpret this as seeing that children naturally say and do whatever is on their minds at the time. The cry, scream, rant and cry harder. If they have emotionally stable and healthy parents, they will allow the child to feel their feelings. Usually children do not make rationalizations or excuses for anyone. And they are letting it out of themselves as they feel NATURALLY GUIDED TO DO.
The systems on this planet do not support healthy emotional release. They have created all sorts of diagnostic labels to place on one who honors nature and allows themselves the right to feel their feelings. Labels like depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. How nice for our medical society to capitalize off of our pain and misery, eh?
What if those "labels" were just unprocessed energy, either our own, or ancestral? As stated before, everything is energy. If the parents did not clear themselves of their suppressions, then it gets transferred down to their children and usually in a much bigger presentation.
The macrocosm is just a reflection of the microcosm. Ponder the massive, world wide suppressions going on every single second of the day. Is it any wonder then, that volcanos erupt, earthquakes happen, and tornados abound? We have all contributed to this energetic release due to withholding the energy of the emotional experience. I tend to resonate with this picture, and therefore won't be the least bit surprised when Yellowstone fully wakes up.
For your soul's sake, make a commitment to yourself that you will start feeling all of your life, not just the good moments. Embrace and integrate your darkness too. Release it all so that it can be transmuted back into Love. So many feel ashamed when they have anger or rage, as they have been conditioned to believe that its not spiritual to have these feelings. God loves you for your anger. It means you actually care about something. Humans were designed to feel. The problem comes from the years of piling up angry event on angry event until there is an emotional tsunami that needs to be unleashed, and usually that release is in some negative way very similar to an erupting volcano.
Love yourself enough to feel it all and let it go! You deserve liberation from the bondage that carrying these burdens present in your lives.
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