Healing your Life with Truth

Truth is the most effective technique when one is trying to heal a lifetime of complex trauma, or anything for that matter.  One of the reasons I feel that I have suffered so much is because I kept things quiet, inside and to myself, hence by the time I made this blog I needed to greatly undo the damage from all the silence.  Dear readers, you are about to witness how big my brave is, for in my work of undoing more trauma and ties that bind, I felt strongly that I needed to express in a letter some deep truths to the person who gestated me, for it was in this area that I still felt great emotional pain, loss and anguish.  I should also express how very much my experiences with my mother were repeated with my oldest son, as you will read in a moment in the letter I drafted and sent to my mother.  Minds get taken hostage with LIES every single second on this planet.  This experience has taught me that no matter how much I love someone it will never be a guarantee that they will start to have ears that hear and eyes that see.  I have seen and endured things that Stephen King could not even begin to imagine, and more importantly, I am no longer going to stay silent about any of it.

If you are triggered by events of sexual abuse then you may want to stop here, for this was much of my life even into adulthood, and I describe some experiences in my letter.  One day, when you are ready, you will no longer be triggered by these things, but healed by them, compassionate for your suffering and ability to transcend, while radiating love for all those who still have the journey ahead of them.   My letter follows: 

Dear Linda,

I am writing this for several reasons.  First, I am sending you pictures that I had that I no longer want in my possession.  Second, as a course in fully healing and reaching my mission on this planet as God intended for me, I am going to unleash a word filled emotional tsunami on you that is my truth.  It is no longer relevant to me, thank God, if you believe it or not, for it is my truth and I know it to be so.  But maybe this shall in some way wipe the sleep from your eyes and wake you up a little more to what going on in this world that doesn’t involve unicorns and Christmas trees and your completely backwards perception of what you believe to be truth.  You lie, or you have lied and therefore you get lied to and manipulated.  The biggest tyranny that goes on here is the one where slaves have no idea that they are even slaves.  You have been far too comfortable in your slavery.

 

You may not be able to handle what I am about to lay on you.  Make certain in no way do I ever want to hear from you.  You will mistakenly associate this with what you call “unforgiveness”, but that is not so.  Some day, maybe in some other lifetime, you will come to understand how very much I love you. 

Where shall I even begin, as there is just so much that I need to get out?  I am going to do my best to go in my chronological age order, for that will make the most sense.

Let’s start with how many times, before the age of 7, that I would wake up with an asthma attack and you would be at work.  I am sure you remember how NOT HELPFUL that beast of a husband (my father) you had was, but I don’t think you ever carried enough authority with him to effect a change. 

It didn't seem to do any good.  I specifically remember so many mornings I would wake up and not be able to breathe and sit in front of my fan to try and wait for you to just get home.  I tried one time to wake him up and he gave me the middle finger and went back to sleep. You may say “Ruth-Ann why didn’t you say anything?”  My answer to that Linda is that I was only 5 years old and you were supposed to be the mother.  The mother who didn’t pay attention, who just assumed everything was as your mind told you it was which was the complete opposite of the truth.

 

Even with your knowing his history of utter neglect of my needs, such as when you said you had beat him with a broom because when you came home from work one morning and found I was blue, you still left me in his care over and over again, while you went off to slave away to support him and his ungrateful self……you have a life pattern with this behavior.

 

Remember the time when you and your brother drove me and my brother to WV to spend time with my father?  Well every single day I had to get up at around 5 to be dropped off at his new wife’s mom’s house to go clean her church. Not one day did he ever take off work to be with us.  We would get back to her place and eat lunch and she would try to teach me counted cross stitch.  One day, she found a ruined skein behind her kitchen door and went freaking NUTS over this for reasons that I cannot explain.  It was only a 20 cent skein of floss.  I know that I truly did not do it.  She then complained to that beast Bob and he beat the crap out of me.  I had welts on the back of my legs from how hard he beat me.  Then he made me call her and apologize for something I did not even do.  Then the next day he drove us back to NJ, to his evil lizard of a mother, who stated “your father wouldn’t beat you if he didn’t love you.”  Then I got to go home to you and HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPEN.  You did nothing.

I also remember when I broke my arm.  How long did you make me wait in pain until you took me to the emergency room?  Who then had to do an external correction WITHOUT any pain medicine?  Then when I finally did get home, you never came in to check on me that whole night, nor did you bring me anything for pain.  My God Linda, I had a BROKEN ARM. Can you even see yet, how very distracted you were all the time from taking genuine care of me?

As you must know, he hated you greatly and he hated me even more.  I felt it every day, from him, from most of his family and many in your own family.  You were too busy living in your fantasy land to pay attention.  To care enough to just inquire and listen.  To read the signs that something was very wrong.    Over and over you were given signs: he wanted to marry another woman while in the Air Force, you found underwear so you knew he was screwing the baby sitters.  The underage babysitters mind you, which was illegal.  Yet, you kept making all sorts of excuses for this ignorant behavior.  What do you think he did to me Linda?  Did you ever ask yourself that question?  Did you ever just once stop to think that if he is willing to violate child babysitters, would he not care in violating his own?  The answer is No.  I was nothing absolutely nothing to him.   Whatever made you think that I would be treated well by him, when he did all these things to you?

How is it that when you finally did divorce, and he kidnapped me for that whole year, that you NEVER came to get me?  How is it that you just replaced me with that woman’s kids instead of stopping your whole life until you got me back?  Why is it Linda, that you could do nothing worthwhile on your own and that you ALWAYS required your mate or family to lead you?  Why is it that you never once looked at how YOUR ignorance was contributing to the situation instead of blaming it always on something else?  The coward satan needs to be given legal permission to enter, and although you did this unconsciously, you still gave permission.  I could spend a great deal of time explaining to you where your sin is, as I have spent a great many years looking at my own and healing it.  The speck has been removed from my eye, it is pride and arrogance that keep us from seeing clearly.

Why is it that when I returned to you after that year, that you never once asked me how I was treated, how many times was I sick and am I OK, or tell me how much you missed me?  Did you ever realize that it was all I could do to count the days until I could get back to you?  That I was not ever paid any attention to by my father or anyone else in his sick family as they absolutely hated me so intensely that I could feel it.  I was left alone with my brother all the time.  I was not treated kindly in the 4-5 schools that I had to go to in that year either.   That I got beat so bad one night by a female cousin of his simply because I was laughing at the kitchen table.  Laughing, and that was reason enough to beat me.  That when I had to live at his uncle Gene’s house (where Maw used to live) that he would constantly threaten to kill you if you ever came there and this deathly scared me.  I was nine years of age and having to hear this nonsense.  How about while still living there I got very, very sick one time and my father was nowhere to be found as usual……I got a washcloth out of the bathroom.  Just a washcloth.  Gene flew into some kind of demonic rage and stated that if I ever took another f-ing washcloth from the bathroom ever again, that he would ram my “f-ing head through the f-ing wall).  I was so, so sick.  No one was even there to care for me.  (I also believe that man violated my brother.)

I must mention that I also have had visions of you violating my brother too.

I kept on enduring this trauma, holding onto hope that by some chance you would just love me so much that it would make everything that I had to endure during that year of having to be with him fade away.  This did not ever seem to occur to you, and although your partner mentioned how “you cried” all the time when we were gone, really Linda, all I saw was your subservience to her and her children, like you were under some kind of spell. You were nothing more than her money slave, and it took you 9 long years to figure that out even though I tried to tell you many times she was not a good soul. (as an aside, I also remember one time my very own brother stated to me how I was his “bank”).  You would not listen.  Your pride and arrogance blinded you from hearing truth.  She had thrown a pregnant cat at me and you went back to her yet again, dragging me into your drama every single time, and not once did you ever think about how your decisions might have affected me.

 

You may also find it interesting to know that the whole time I was taken by him your sister knew where we were, as he was in touch with her frequently back then.

When I was around the age of 5 I was on a sleep over at your sister’s house.  I was sleeping in the basement that night, on a cot, and something (I believe to be my angels) woke me up to warn me.  Next thing I knew, your nephew Allen, was raping me.  Linda Marie may remember, as in the morning I asked if could have some clean underwear.  I don’t remember her providing me with any, but mine were wet from him.  This is the beast that you needed to stay at my home for his funeral with your mother. Five years old Linda.  Little did I know that this was only the beginning, as I had many more years that I would have to endure the perverted sexual abuse to at the hands of my own family.

 

I remember being repeatedly sodomized at your mother in law’s house.  I would have to leave my body to endure this torture.  I am remembering more every day, but ask yourself what exactly do you think it was that scared the hell out of George J. that day he went in her home.  She and my father, his brother Ray, his sister Carol are all very evil worldly souls, reptilian in nature and very much lizards.  The reason why Ray seems to have prospered is that he has parasited off of his wife Rosemary who was a good soul, but like yourself is very oblivious to spiritual reality.  In her case she has been brainwashed by religion which I have found to be mostly Godless and devoid of truth on this planet. 

I always wished you would not have ever taken me there.  She (the grandmother) would always mind warp her son Timmy to be very perverted and inappropriate, to say very sexual things to me. All at the age of around 11 or 12. I am sure you remember the inappropriate behavior from his father towards you, right? In this case, the apple does not fall from the tree, Linda. 

  

When you forced me to go to my grandfather’s funeral, at the time I had not ever seen a dead person before and was left there without any adult on my side to ease me into this matter.  NONE LINDA!  I was so confused staring at his casket, and that lizard of a grandmother came up to me and said, “why don’t you go give him a kiss and see what death feels like.”  She said this in a very evil and condescending way. 

Joey molested me so often, nearly all the time I spent the night at the lizard’s house. 

To me, my childhood was not something that was enjoyed but rather something that had to be survived with a massive amount of complex trauma thrown in.  I just kept on taking this abuse, as you were always crawling up your mate’s ass to be of any useful service to me.  You had relinquished your integrity and your authority to do anything meaningful for me because of your ignorance. 

I am now starting to have memories return of all the abuse that I endured at the hands of Diane.  Many mornings I would wake up with horrendous bruising on my ears, my breasts and my hands would have the scent of a woman’s genitals on them, and I would have no explanation for this.  I would be so confused, feel drugged, and wonder as to how this happened morning after morning, and I would not have any memory of it.  Eventually memories return when one is no longer afraid of the truth.  There is no doubt in my mind that she had been violating and drugging me.

While you were busy working to pay for all her bills and such, she would do all she could to break my spirit, saying horrendous things to me, doing all she could to make me feel insecure, fearful as well as keeping you fed with lies that you took as truth, and thereby causing you to judge me incorrectly.  For instance, I thank God to this day that one day, your mother asked me “Ruthie, tell me something.  Did you ever take the ketchup bottle out of the fridge at Diane’s house and just pour it all over the kitchen table?”  I said, “No, I would not ever do something like that, why do you ask?”  She stated that Diane told her I did.  At least Gran had enough sense to ask me first before believing something as true.  I can only imagine what other multitudes of lies she fed you that you believed over the years.  I don’t remember one time when you called to check on me from work, to ask me how my day at school was, to take me, just me to a movie with you, or how was I doing in general.  NOT ONCE.  All the school years I had to endure, not only with the ignorance of being frequently made fun of because of my hair loss, but also because of your choosing homosexuality (of which I had not judged you for), which was just compounded by all the other violations/trauma that I have already described above.

 

I was so alone in this madness.  This very insane, highly traumatizing madness.  It is only with the Grace of God that I survived, with a sound mind and a very intact, kind, loving heart.

Let’s go back to when we lived at Diane’s house.  There was also the disgusting incident that I remember when she demanded that I take a shower with her daughter, of which I refused and got punished for it.  I was 13 years old and did not need to shower with anybody.  You were and still are extremely gullible and would do what ever she asked and told you to do, even if it were demeaning and humiliating to your own child.  You could have intervened and stated NO, my daughter deserves her privacy, but as usual you never did anything.  Ditto on the time when you were putting HER through nursing school, (and what did that ever do for you?)  You could not help your own daughter get into school, but you certainly could put her through school.  And pay all her bills.  And end up with absolutely nothing.  You never, not once thought about how all your decisions were traumatizing your own daughter.  You only thought of your own pain, what they had done only to you, never once looking at the bigger picture, the picture that include me. How many times did I have to hear that all "your problems" with your mates were because of "the children".

   

So, through all those disgusting years of being surrounded by child molesters and incestuous family, that was FILLED with jealousy, envy, hatred and LIARS, we have now arrived to the time when you finally left Diane and moved out.  You were so damaged from all of that.  I don’t think you remember how very, very sick I got, with abdominal pain nearly all the time because you were lost in your own pain yet again.  But I kept holding out hope that one day you would get it together and start paying attention to me for once in your life.  That we were finally on our own!!  But your pain, grief, anger and selfishness did not ever allow you to see anything but your own trouble.  I specifically remember one day when you said to me, “my psychiatrist said to me that I should have just given you to your father.”  That nearly broke my soul, Linda.  But I knew that you were hurting and I forgave you.  It was like it just killed you to be even remotely kind to me.  You could find so much kindness and patience for those who have fed off of your light, for those who did absolutely nothing for you but use you, but when it came to me, what I usually felt from you was that I was just a chore.  This feeling of mine is not up for debate.  I am and always have been a HIGHLY empathic soul and no longer need external confirmation of what I feel to be truth.  It is my truth.  You spent a lot of time trying to tell me that my feelings were not true, and I have spent the majority of my lifetime undoing that damage you inflicted from that ignorance.

As if your neglect of me wasn’t enough, yet again my brother comes back just at that same time and makes use of your vulnerable situation to move in and you just couldn’t bend your ass over backwards far enough to give him what ever he wanted.  All the years of you saying, I am jealous of him no longer faze me, for I know that the truth is that I have not ever been jealous of him.  He is an exact replica of the coward that is his father, only more so.  I remember one time asking him why a certain girlfriend of his was not in his life, and he simply said, “because I couldn’t hurt her.”  What kind of demon says that?  Why would one ever want to hurt someone else?  Yet he has always been ever so helpful when I was following a path of self-destruction, that resulted from the years of trauma and abuse that I had to survive and then marrying into a similar and more horrible situation.  Not one light of inspiring, genuine love in his black cold heart.
 

All of this damage that you had taught me through observation, led me down a horrible path that had resulted in my attacking myself.  By the time I was 17-18, I had no self worth.  NONE.  It is no surprise to me that I attracted someone like that ex husband of mine into my life.  His only mission was to ruin me.  He and all those like him operate on a strictly no love basis, yet are very clever in creating an illusion of caring and love.  To those who never had it, the attention feels so nice.  But it is just one method of deception to sink their hooks in so that they can eventually try to possess your soul.  He found out that its not always possible to do, especially when one loves God as much as I do.  They feed off of the light, the heart of humanity.  I have no problem calling him and those like him demonic.  That is what they are.  Psychiatrists would like to label them as narcissistic.  They feed off of pity, never give any genuine love for they are completely incapable of it.  This will be the downfall of him and all those like him.  There are many here.  They have greatly underestimated the light.

You have been extracted from your whole life.  What you have been giving is not love, but pity which just keeps the situation the same as it has always been here on planet Earth.  You feel “sorry” for everything and everyone, including yourself.  It’s called ENABLING, and it is exactly what you have done to all the partners, family and even your son.  You have enabled them to continue living in the same evil ways they have always lived, never having any kind of authority over them to effect any change for the better.  You relinquished your authority years ago.  I often looked at that young picture of you, when you were a smiling, happy light filled soul and it greatly saddens me that all the light has been sucked out of you. 

I wished that things had been different between us, that the hatred, the lies you were fed and believed, the jealousy, and your low self esteem had not caused you to shut yourself and your heart off from me as it has.  I am sorry that life was so mean to you as well, for I personally understand persecution to the 100^th degree on this planet from my own experience.  I know that you were fighting off the demons from your own mother’s ignorance, and trying to keep her secrets buried.  This has not served you well, Linda, for eventually you needed to resort to smoking and medication to shut yourself off from the anger I know you must have felt.  It is spiritual truth that what you don’t heal as a parent gets passed down to the children, often in a larger way.  All those secrets you were keeping only brought more pain to my life.  The fact that Ruth (your mother) got herself pregnant at a young age to escape an ugly situation, married a man who did not love her (he was not a good soul at all, I have had many, many visions about your father, all of which are ungodly), then had an affair while married.  Then she spent the rest of her life working like a dog, compensating for all of her transgressions.  Most of the people in her life that she felt were friends were not ever true friends.  Her own husband told her this fact, and she refused to believe it.  I find it hard to understand how in the world anyone could support someone who RAPED a woman and later beat up another woman?  Yet she did this for her son Denny.  Who never changed his life, but my God did he have the assistance he needed to get everything covered up.  I know she probably thought she was doing something good.  Good would have been holding that ignorance accountable for what he did in violating another soul on this planet.

You should also know that your father was homosexual.  He had several rendezvous in Ocean City.  Your own mother also confirmed this for me by some information she relayed to me, although she did not want to believe it.  Yet, I also remember how pride blinded that woman often, much like it has done to you.  I recall a time when we were all getting ready to have dinner in Florida and I was just so happy to be finding myself spiritually, and I wanted to share it.  She chirped up ignorantly something like, “Oh I already told her that I already forgot everything she thinks she knows”.   As if she indeed already had the world all figured out and I was the one late to the party.
 

The rude things that she would do/say and I would seek your intervention in the matter only for you to make excuses.  You have made excuses your whole life for the ignorant behavior that I have had to endure from many others and this has caused me great suffering.

So, Linda, maybe by now you have an idea of why I want absolutely nothing to do with you.  Past experience has taught me that all the love, faith and hope in the world cannot save someone from their self.  Why my last words to you were “you don’t listen.”  I remember flying down to be with you in Florida because you were in ICU and I wanted to genuinely surprise you!  When I walked through those doors and you ROLLED YOUR EYES, my heart fell to the floor.  It was further proof to me that we would never have the genuine relationship that I had so longed for.  You simply just could not come to love me and I needed to accept this fact.  I also remember the time when we lived in Indian Run Apartments and I found the correspondence between you and my schoolmate talking negatively about me.  Life with you was just filled with betrayal after betrayal and nothing was ever sacred with you when it came to me.  I have had enough ignorance in my life and regardless of what role someone is supposed to have played according to the ways of this world, this does not equate to a free ticket to abuse, neglect, minimize/negate my feelings and discount my life experiences simply because they stretch beyond what your ignorant, naïve self can or will believe.   

I also remember how when I was a young woman, I was so excited waiting for my first period to start.  I had been stocking up on pads with money I had earned from working for my maternal grandmom.  You walked in on my changing and saw that I had a pad on and laughed so hard!  That was another heartbreaking and humiliating moment for me, my own mother laughing at me, instead of understanding how excited I was to start to mature and sharing in that excitement with me.
 

You treated my oldest son the same way you treated me.  I remember all your rude comments about my son and how “his father has ruined him.”  You should know this Linda, that he is very much like yourself in that his mind has been infested with the LIE and he has lost his ability to discern truth.  It happens to so many down here on Earth.  I am not taking anything the boy does personally in my life for he, like yourself, is not in control of his own mind.
 

None of this information was written to intentionally hurt you although I do realize that may not be your perception.  However, I no longer care if you are able and strong enough to handle the truth Linda.  We all must face the truth eventually.  It is what sets us free.  Although you may not be able to comprehend this, I do wholeheartedly love you.  Enough to tell you my truth and care not whether you believe it.  Writing this all down and getting it out of me even though there were many, many other violations that I have left out simply due to time has allowed my soul to achieve an even deeper forgiveness for your ignorance, for I realize that you too were fighting demons passed on from your own mother.  Fighting demons is no easy feat, but I am living proof that it can be successfully done.  Cowards like demons can’t survive in the face of love and truth.  They now get out of my way or they will be run over.  If you are wondering if that is pride and arrogance, no.  It's the conviction of the authority that I was sent here with, the only true authority that exists, the authority that I have fought hard to regain in this lifetime through cleansing my own life of sin.  The only true authority comes from God.

I wish you well in the time that is left for planet earth Linda.  Things are about to massively change here very soon.  I love you more than I can express in words, although I know that you aren’t likely to believe it.  It has taken me many years to finally compose this letter to you for fear of not wanting to hurt you.  But in putting this off I was only hurting myself, which I can no longer do.
 

Do not ever contact me in any way.  (end of letter)

The relief I feel from just sending this is immense.  What you bring forth will truly save you if you let it.  If you do not bring forth what is within you, then you are inviting in trouble.

Find a safe, healthy way to get out all your secrets, empty yourselves of all the shame and humiliation and cleanse yourselves from the lies you were forced to participate in.  It is then you will come to know peace.

I love you people.  Live in truth at all times and be well.  

 

Spiritual Immunity

We partake in all sorts of things that we think will offer us protection, from going to the doctor, purifying our diet, banking and saving our money, maintaining our jobs, participating in politics and obtaining an education (which often times places one in massive debt).  We seem to have come to believe that working hard is synonymous with being a good and humble human, that it is the normal way here.  I now offer you a different perspective to consider. 

We should not forget that people can become PORTALS for evil to operate through, and from my view I see this in full swing on this planet en masse.  So precious few are actually, genuinely sovereign and they set themselves up to be hosted, essentially becoming puppets for evil to carry out its will with.  We have children (in adult bodies) having children and very little emotional growth being given its proper attention.  

Think that this is an exaggeration?  Let me remind you of what hitler was able to do on this planet simply because he had CHOSEN to allow hatred and anger to enter his soul, rather than choosing to serve LOVE.  I know that he had been beaten supposedly daily by his father, and that the mother he "loved" very much had died at the hands of what he deemed "incompetent jewish doctors" who could not save her.  (With all thy getting, GET UNDERSTANDING).  I can understand how these acts could damage a soul, however I do not, under ANY circumstances, feel that this is a worthy enough excuse for his horrid behavior.  He that is within you is GREATER than he that is within the world.

We can ALWAYS, ALWAYS CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY at any time. No matter how great the spiritual oppression, we always can gain access to LOVE through our use of free will and use it to our benefit.

I was reading just yesterday some statistics on how most rapers were raped themselves and how most pedophiles were abused as a child.  What am I to do with that information?  Make excuses for their poor behavior?  Feel sorry for them?  Not gonna happen in any lifetime.  What I will do is hold the TOUGH LOVE vibration which WILL hold them divinely accountable, being unmoved by pity and having the realization that we can all arrive at GRACE should we choose to do the work required to get there.  I would teach them that it is no excuse just because it happened to them to continue on with this insanity, but this would be done with love not judgement.  We ALL have the same opportunity to choose differently and do the Godly thing and turn back to LOVE and away from hatred and all of its bondage.  It leads to possession quickly. 

While satan takes slaves, I gather students for I know the high spiritual cost of violating free will.  Nor am I about control.

We have all been shot, as my friend relayed to me one day, quoting from a spiritual program that she had been listening to, in which a soldier who had been driving had been shot.  His commander ordered him to continue to drive, and he said "I've been shot!"  His commander said, "Drive, we've all been shot".  (I will save my comments on his commander's lack of caring later. You can relax).  But the take home point here is truly, WE HAVE ALL BEEN SHOT, with some dark thing (or things), in this lifetime.  It is not an excuse to continue on with the inappropriate behavior or let anger/hatred, self pity, despair, or excessive grief weaken us to the point to where we get possessed by the lesser energies.  Believe me, those lesser energies are just WAITING for you to choose to weaken yourself.  They set up situations to provoke you so they can own you. 

So then, the only solution is to raise your spiritual immunity so high that it either repels the darkness or consumes it.  I am fine with either one, I personally choose to do both.  Picture the scene at the end of The Matrix, where Neo had been shot by Smith, and he gets up, and says "No." Smith is obviously pissed.  Neo takes a moment and gets himself together, for NOW HE KNOWS WHO HE IS.  Then he runs right at Smith, jumping right into his, very symbolic of integrating the shadow, in my opinion.  

What you need to do costs nothing but your time, devotion and remembering who you really are.  One needs to give up all lying, all hatred, all judgement (discernment is allowed), all fear, all shame, all guilt, ALL BLAME.  Excesses of any kind.  Giving to others is helpful for your spirit, and can cancel out error.  One needs to devote themselves to truth, no matter what it looks like and be willing to look at it full on without fear.  Go within to understand what LOVE truly is, and then commit to only operating from that level of  LOVE at all times.  Love is the only protection we have here.  The rest is manly illusion. 

One of the biggest spiritual revelations for me last year was finally getting the understanding of not putting any of my faith in man, but rather putting it where it belongs which is with God only.  Not in any family, government, religion, or education.  GOD ONLY.  Jeremiah 17:5 depicts this:  Cursed is the man who trusts in man......Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is in the Lord.  Live your life so that the Lord is always in your favor, and you will have absolutely nothing to worry about.

I love you.  Have a wonderful week.

Please Don't Feed the Psychopaths

What most have come to consider as normal on this planet is actually about as far from normal as one can get.  The systems here run backwards and are operated by psychopaths and this is not in alignment with Divine Principle.  Thankfully,it is all very close to crumbling and the new foundation of love will be here to restore all the years the locusts have eaten.

Like I mentioned in my last post, most humans have had no idea that what they are partaking in is actually error, but this is no excuse for not living in spiritual alignment.  The beast likes it this way because the less you know you are operating in sin the more he and his minions can feed off of your ignorance.  The time of evil being interpreted as good and good as evil has arrived, and is it any wonder then why the hospitals are getting larger, people are getting sicker, jails are crammed full and the government feeds off of its people like a parasite.

Quite simply, it is because they CAN.  YOU, unconsciously, have given that power to them because you are living in a spiritual violation of some sort, and what gets taken from you is much more than what you would normally think.  Raising one's integrity matters greatly, especially now.  I find personally that the more I raise my integrity, the less I need to raise my voice.

One of the biggest things for me when I was a child was the fact that I could see the hypocrites in all their glory and how very much I wanted just one person to have enough integrity to STOP the violations against me.  For instance, when I was nine I was just being a kid and laughing at the dinner table one night with my cousin and brother.  This aunt from hell, (I had more than one) hated me, I could feel this every day of my life there and she decided I needed to be beaten.  Her husband was dependent on drinking alcohol, and although he tried to advocate for me, had no genuine authority and I got beat.  My mother also had no authority as she was reliant on smoking and taking medications.  I cannot begin to tell you how much fun that was for me. 

So many times in my life I have witnessed the "spiritual take over" of a person who should have been able to exert their authority over the situation.  Instead, they look like a deer in headlights, drugged on something not of this realm and end up exerting no authority at all.

The time is NOW to get radically honest with yourself and search your own heart, mind and soul for any lack of integrity, any spiritual violations and also devote yourself to aligning up with truth so that truth can align up with you.  If you are ill, ask for understanding the real message of the illness.  I have come to find that there are three reasons of illness: generational crap got passed down to you because your ancestors did not do their own spiritual work, you personally in some way are in error or violation of spiritual law, or you are an important piece of God's plan of reformation for this planet and its attracting the minions to you with their tormenting ways like a light will attract flies to it, in an attempt to deter you from your mission.  Your brightness just pisses them off.

Anyway, when you are living below integrity, you are nothing more than a container to be filled with what ever ignorance wants to use you, because it can.  There are hyper dimensional entities that have been here for eons just letting you think ignorantly in illusion, being easily deluded that appearances are real and that accidents happen.  No, everything, every single thing here is under law and order.

So then, how do you go about figuring out what is not congruent in your life with the LAW (which can be interpreted the same thing as the LORD in the Bible)?  Well, how much chaos does your life have in it?  How far from peace are you feeling?  Do you just survive every day, only to do it all over again tomorrow, then come home and compensate in one of a bazillion ways to blow off your frustration, pain, anger, depression? The more one has of these things, the more error there is that needs to be cleared.  This is NOT about blame, its about understanding the message Jesus wanted to convey when he said "have I not said that ye are Gods?"

When I audit medical charts, I am seeing far too many children on antidepressant/psyche medication.  This is because the parents/ancestors did NOT CLEAR their own depression issues and now that energy has backed up into their children in a bigger way that is just like a damn that is getting ready to explode.  Medication may be a temporary bridge, but it will NEVER replace the importance of doing one's own work of going within and arriving ultimately at self love and forgiveness.  Essentially our society has made synthetic drug taking acceptable, but only if you look at how it is serving the beast rather than truly serving the one taking them, one could see that it is not the long term solution.  They keep you numb, easily controlled and locked into a system that does not work.  When the time comes that someone who is on medication wants to advocate for another, they will not be able to, as they weaken the energetic field and believe you me, satan knows this. I've witnessed this behavior in my own mother, who looked at the time when I really needed her to be fully present just like a possessed zombie.  The look on her face I will not ever forget, but it was this experience that reminded me that these hyper dimensional things will jump into bodies when they need to and take over when we are giving our authority away. 

I am not just referring to psych meds either.  In my own lineage, my grandmother and mother both were on HTN medications, which just suppressed down their anger that was being REFLECTED to them in their high blood pressure and then it all got put on my plate on my arrival to this place.  No wonder in the past it had been so easy for me to be provoked to anger, because I had generations of people harboring an emotional anger tsunami that just wanted to be released.  I was meditating one night years ago, and was asking Spirit why I always had this anger, feelings that just did not seem right with me.  I heard clearly, "They are NOT all yours Ruth".  So often, because of how we are feeling, we judge ourselves harshly which does not help the situation at all.  After that revelation, I worked more on loving myself and practicing self forgiveness.  Myself and I now love each other, but my Lord was it a long journey!  

Anyway, I want to remind you to please not feed the psychopaths who are now all running around trying to do all they can to keep you believing in the lie of appearances, that sickness is normal (remember the scripture "go and sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you), that struggle is normal, that you need to work like a dog to get anywhere.  Maybe all those things exist because we are in violation in some area of spiritual law and need to self correct. 

Seek ye first the kingdom and then all things shall be added. 

I love you. 

 

The New Song

"Think NOT that I have come to send peace on the earth.  I did not come to bring peace, but a SWORD."  Matthew 10:34

What we have here is a hidden treasure.  For most do not even begin to understand the meaning of this gift of scripture on this planet, or else things here would look a lot better.  It would seriously help if more souls had ears to hear rather than money to spend, for that has greatly limited creativity and revelation coming in.  Alas, no one can save you from yourself.  Regardless of what others may say, NOTHING is hidden from you.  You will repel truth from yourself if you do not honor it in every area of your life or if you have fear. 

We are all equipped, should we choose to enter through the narrow gate, do our own soul work, and live accordingly to the divine principles of God, with a spiritual sword that can defeat anything in our way. satan is nothing in front of this sword except the coward that he has always been.  There is nothing, NOTHING that can get in the way of this sword.   With God (which is PERFECT LOVE), all things are possible.

"What's the sword?"  I am glad you asked (or at least I can imagine that you did!)

The sword gets created from the genuine application of PERFECT LOVE and FORGIVENESS.  Jesus' whole life was about this message.

Let's think about the alternative for a moment and how ungodly energetically draining it is.  With every act of unforgiveness and fear, you set yourself up to become food for satan's parasitic nature and then wonder why you have no energy.  Compensation then sets in, and in a feeble attempt to mediate why you feel so freaking horrible you find some other unhealthy distraction to try and numb the pain.  This does not work, drains more energy from you and makes you a slave. 

How many still think that slavery was abolished?  I certainly don't, and I don't believe it has anything to do with race either. 

 Over the last few years I have observed many people here, and see the game of guilt going on all over the place. These people think they are free, but they really are glorified slaves, no where near in control of themselves or their actions.  It's usually control by the mate they have chosen in life, which is a continuation/direct reflection of whatever childhood thing they did not clear with love and forgiveness and thereby ERASING the bondage of the past and being done with it.  They are used to this behavior and have come to accept it as normal when it is anything BUT normal. 

The bondage of satan is from guilt, shame, fear or living a life with iniquity and oh my LORD is there more than enough of that on this planet.  I see that the larger problem lies in the fact that many have no idea that they are living a life in error (which would be called sin by some) and this fact contributes greatly to their suffering. When one refuses to contribute to play that game, to resort to fear or guilt over ANYTHING, we become FREE.  We realize the truth in the MERCY of God and we get the SWORD and protection that the teaching of Jesus reflected.  satan gets slayed, which frankly is the way I prefer him to be.  His ignorance is no longer needed here, because the NEW SONG is being sung right now, and if you allow yourself to get quiet enough, if you just learn to silence the mind you will hear its beautiful revelation which is about your salvation. 

Or you could go on being food for something that does not love, care or have any respect for you whatsoever.  You are just a food source to be used and discarded.

Here is your assignment should you choose to accept it:  FORGIVE EVERYTHING.  LOVE YOURSELF.  GET THE SWORD.  Live with the Divine Authority you were meant to have. 

I love you.

Victorious Spiritual Warfare

Do you feel defeated, full of fear, shame, guilt and humiliation that you have no idea how to climb out of that pit you have been put in?  Is each day just another day to survive because with the way you feel, you are thinking it would probably be less painful to be dead?   Do you think that the world is against you?  Do you feel hated, and blame yourself for this and yet really can't come up with any valid reason as to WHY you feel this way?  Are there some really odd things you are experiencing that you just can't understand or explain, for fear of being viewed a little short of a full deck?

I would like to share with you that your war has already been won, and you are victorious.  No, really you are.  God does not let me lie, so there you have it.  I ask you to trust me on this, as I love you enough to always tell you the truth.

I too had felt this way for the majority of my life.  I just could not understand how I could be such a kind, tender soul and yet have all this utter hatred just radiated at me.  The best descriptive I would use is that I felt hunted for most of my life, feeling as if I were in some psychopathic science experiment gone bad, and never really able to identify the predator.  I eventually did though, it was satan the coward.  He and his army of hive minded psychopathic robots tried to make my life a living hell, and for awhile did a great job of getting me to doubt myself, fall into fear, and eventually fall into hopelessness.

Oh my God, how much of a higher, better place I am in now, and I would like to have the great privilege to humbly light the way for you to find this place too.  It is your inheritance, it belongs to you.

With meditation, and a restored faith I started to ask God questions of why am I so hated?  Why are things so hard here, why is the energy here trying to kill me since it is so adverse to truth and love?  Why are these evil pawns working so hard at trying to end me with all this ignorance?  From scripture we know that satan came to kill, steal and destroy, and apparently he was occupying a large amount of his time and resources trying to do all of those to me since my arrival onto this planet.   When I say that it is nothing short of a miracle that I am alive today I mean it.  I have faced and experienced things most would not believe or only see in movies. My prayer was answered in this way:  "It is because you have Love, Ruth.  This defeats him, and he knows it."  Ohhhhhhhhhhh reallllllly.  Hummmmm. Now I know my enemy, and more importantly, I know his weakness.

So knowing this, instead of resorting to a fearful, aggressive attitude, falling into paranoia or needing any defense materials,  I pack Love with me EVERYWHERE I go.  Satan knows this, and hates me for it.  Good, because I am so not here to serve him.  I am here, along with many others at this time to END him.  I have no doubt that I am on the winning team.

 Why do you think the attacks of the enemy in your life have been so difficult?  It is because the coward cannot have a humanity serving Love, for then it would not be serving him.  Since he is unable to create anything he must deceive, steal and use fear to get a population under control by using you as his human battery.  He will do all he can to get you to lie, harbor unforgiveness, fall into fear, and lower your integrity because then he does not have to worry about the Law of Love coming at him to let him know what genuine power truly is. 

He greatly underestimated the power of the light and those who are committed to shining it.  I have no doubt he greatly underestimated me, and that is because in his own arrogance and pride he never thought I would arrive at forgiving it all and choosing Love thereby cutting his chains and throwing them right back at him. 

I would love nothing more than to show as many others as possible how to cut their own chains and experience what freedom feels like.  What walking in the Love and Protection of God feels like.  In one tiny, holy moment you can make up your own mind to be bettered by your past rather than wrecked from it and cut the chains.  You can choose to get on the winning team and heal.

I love you.  Have a wonderful week my friends.  










    

Thankful

I took myself out on a little road trip today, driving north on route 100 for some time....even though I live in the middle of wide open country, the ride is never boring, for everywhere I go here there are beautiful views to see.  I can sing my heart out too, which clears my soul.  Perfect day.  A nice side effect of all this beauty is how it enhances my creativity, so I was inspired to write a poem in honor of the Mother of Jesus, Mary. 

The Tears of Mary

To have had to witness the great suffering of your Son,

Who was truly pure, God's chosen one,

Who surrendered willingly his life on the cross

So that our eternal salvation would never be lost.

The Love of a Mother runs true and deep,

to have had to endure all this I am sure you did weep.

Then maybe you realized the awesome miracle of your son's short life,

How he loved the world so authentically, leading so many out of strife.

His whole life was a profound message, a living example,

of how we are given dominion here, and over satan we can trample.

Mary, you have my deepest gratitude for the ineffable strength you had to harness,

while witnessing your son be put through such distress.

This world wasn't aware of what great light had been lost,

He chose those nails, and he knew the cost.

For souls to be free, the price he had paid,

Gave us divine authority over all evil, as God's new covenant had been made.

Your tears were not shed in vain, oh precious, loving Mother,

I think of how awesome it was that God chose You,

and he did not chose any other.

To carry and bring his fruit to life

That would one day teach this world, all the while being as gentle and harmless as a dove,

That the answer to every single problem here

Will have its solution in only Love.

                                                                                                      Ruth Ann R. 

I love you Greatly.  Have a wonderful week.

Ruth

Protecting the Mind, Undoing the Lies

As mentioned in a previous post, I stated how the first route of attack from satan the coward is your mind.  Nearly daily I see the result of that attack as minds infected with doubt, lies, hatred (of self and others), unforgiveness, all of which make one a very nice slave for him and his minions to use at his will.  In my own life this manifested in two of the souls that I love very much and sadly they have suffered greatly for this.  It amazes me how easily one will "forget" all the kind, genuine things you had done for them and believe the lies told them, simply because they have not done enough of their own inner work, or live in guilt and shame, conformed to the ways of this world and therefore are vulnerable to the mind being breached by the enemy.  They totally relinquish their ability to think for themselves, which is just the way the beast likes it, because he knows how powerful and creative the mind is.

I decided to go to a spiritual meeting yesterday for the first time since moving here.  I have a decent amount of time on the drive over the mountain so I have gotten into the habit of using that time to talk to God.  I asked him to get me out of the way, and let his truth come through if there was any message he wanted to convey to this new group.  I feel so blessed to have such a deep connection with God, I hear from him frequently, and I do not doubt but obey what I hear.  I kept hearing "feed my people".  God knows I don't cook elaborately so I knew he must have meant spiritual food.  "Ok, like what......." I replied and I kept getting the thoughts about forgiveness and how it is the eraser of the past and how important it is to embrace it, so one is divinely protected.  "Alrighty then, God, will do".  I sit in this circle, and I just feel the heavy grief and oppression of many souls there.  Not many smiles, no light hearted laughter.  Egos being strongly defended, I could feel it all.  Yet, I promised God I would do what he asked of me.

This is some of what I said, "I have spent the last several years studying the life and message of Jesus Christ, and I have come to the conclusion it needn't take that long, for his message was of the power of forgiveness.  It is what erases the past and sets us free from bondage to receive the inheritance that so rightly belongs to us, if only we would choose to take it.  I have seen in my own life how unforgiveness worked, in that what I did not work out and forgive in my childhood, I repeated in my marriage, or my employment ect. and lessons are repeated until they are learned and they increase each time.  It is a CHOICE to choose forgiveness, and I hope to God you all choose to be FREE."

As truth often does, this raised a ruckus in one of the attendees, and I could feel in several others as well.  For at the end, she spewed out all her reasons for not forgiving, which are really just her pain talking, probably because she never allowed herself to fully feel and release what was causing her bondage to unforgiveness.  She brought up being abused as a child as an example.  All I could do was love her, let her remain where she is and maybe someday, that seed that God used me to plant in her will bring forth some fruit and freedom for her soul.  It was an inappropriate setting for me to share with her my life experience of my many childhood abuses, for example being raped by family at age 5.  I understand her feeling the need to defend her pain.  I also know how many years I wasted and greatly suffered because of it, and I so want her to experience freedom she deserves.

This got me to thinking how it must be for God.  Everyday, all around us and within us, is this GREAT LOVE that is available to tap into should we choose.  But so many choose their past and their pain over Love and Forgiveness.  Because minds have been infected with lies.   

I understand why so few enter through the narrow gate, for it is a difficult path.  However it is the only one that has provided my life with so much meaning.  In the process of clearing out my pain, unforgiveness, anger and profound grief I have cried an ocean of tears over the last six years.  I screamed it out when I needed to in my car.  I wrote until my fingers hurt and my eyes could not see from all the tears falling out of them.  I told God what exactly was on my mind since he knew it anyway.  Some days, I never thought I would be able to get out of bed.  But every day, somehow the Grace of God came in and said "Get Up" and I have finally learned not to argue with God, because I don't win.  I win only when I align with him.  

Jesus said, "If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you.  If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."

Sadly, not much on this backwards planet runs along with God's natural law of Love.  We are taught at a young age to conform, be quiet, do what everyone else is doing because that is the way it is here.  We suppress everything, and we suffer greatly for it.  All of this suppression only causes a derangement of our human energies that will eventually be released in an unnatural way that will look like a heart attack, stroke or the like.  Please choose to let it all out.  Choose to heal and love yourself, and you will then find that this is The Kingdom of Heaven. 

Jesus said, "No one can come unto the father except through the son."  No one can access the Grace and Blessings of God without the application of FORGIVENESS (which is the message of the life of Jesus).  It is true that in order to be forgiven we must forgive, or sadly we are evicted out of the Promised Land, only because of choosing poorly, not because God stops loving us.  That never happens.

Make the committment to bring forth what is within you.  Choose the narrow gate and care not of anyone's else opinion and focus only on the opinion of God.  His opinion I happen to personally know, and it will always be "I LOVE YOU."

I know for a fact that every single work that satan has done in your life can at any time be undone by God.  I am living proof of this, my friends. He has no ability to create anything, he can only steal from you if you are letting him do so.  At any time you can say, "ENOUGH!!!!  You have had enough of my life energy" and choose to starve the beast.

I love you Greatly.  Many Blessings.

Ruth